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FLASH

Exposing the seamy underside of Dallas nightlife

The following infomercial is a paid advertisement.  Us Exposed is not the creator or seller of this product and assumes no liability for any of the claims made.

Never Say Die(t)

Are you big-boned?  Do people call you full-figured?  Has your beer belly gone from a six-pack to a keg?  Donít let all the euphemisms hide the all too abundant truth.  Youíre fat.

The good news is youíre not alone.  According to government figures, over half the adults in America are obese.  Of course, try using that as an excuse at Milk Bar.  Itíll fly about as well as your lard ass will.

The better news is that now you can do something about those unwanted pounds.  Imagine going with the bare midriff look without worrying about the rollover on the top of your pants.  Imagine not having to wear a sweatshirt tied around your waist every time you workout.  (We know thatís just to cover your ass, not a fashion statement.)

How is this possible, you ask?  With Flashís Stripper Diet (AS SEEN ON TV!)  Available for the first time in America, the weight loss secrets of Planet Dallasí finest will help you lose those unwanted pounds quickly and easily through three simple steps.

1.  Take Your Supplements:  And I donít mean vitamins.  Iím talking drugs, preferably coke.  What better way to suppress your appetite and increase your metabolism?  And as an added benefit, it makes living on Planet Dallas a little more bearable.  For those with more severe weight problems, try the Crystal version of the Stripper Diet.  Longer appetite suppression and higher metabolic rates for less money.

 2.  Lift Weights:  Donít worry, Iím not talking about the gym.  After all, why put in all that time and effort just to get sweaty.  Itís much easier to just get two 400cc saline implants.  Carrying around that extra weight on your chest all day is guaranteed to develop more muscle mass and melt pounds.  Getting up in the morning becomes an abs workout.  And if nothing else, larger breasts will at least make your fat ass look proportional.

3.  Do Cardio:  Once again, forget the gym.  Bikes and treadmills are for amateurs compared to five hours of dancing in six-inch platforms.  Tone those legs and calves and build up your endurance while earning cold hard cash.  And you even get an upper body workout pushing all those guys hands away.

Do these three easy steps actually work?  Just listen to what some of our customers say about the diet.

 ďThe pounds disappeared almost as fast as the eight-ball of coke.Ē  Tanya from Addison

 ďMy ass looks much smaller now that my tits are bigger.Ē  Melissa from Dallas

 If you donít believe them, check out the results with your own eyes.  Just go to the Menís Club to see the Stripper Diet in action.  (Nighttime only.  The daygirls obviously donít follow all aspects of the diet.)

 Or for even better proof, check out the girls that go off the diet.  You know whom I mean; those poor young girls who try to stop dancing and stop doing blow.  Even increasing their cigarette intake to about one a minute doesnít prevent them from ballooning up to Free Willy proportions.

So donít be fooled by all those fad diets out there.  Theyíre not as effective and can be dangerous to your health.  To lose weight safely and effectively, stick to the Stripper Diet.

 

P.S.  

The weight loss claims detailed here are not typical and may not reflect your experience on the Stripper Diet.  Please consult your physician before beginning any weight loss program.

 

- Flash -

flash@usexposed.com

 

 

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