FLASH
Exposing the seamy underside of Dallas nightlife
The following infomercial is a
paid advertisement. Us
Exposed is not the creator or seller of this product and assumes no
liability for any of the claims made.
Never
Say Die(t)
Are you big-boned? Do people call you full-figured?
Has your beer belly gone from a six-pack to a keg?
Don’t let all the euphemisms hide the all too abundant truth.
You’re fat.
The good news is you’re not
alone. According to
government figures, over half the adults in America are obese.
Of course, try using that as an excuse at Milk Bar. It’ll fly about as well as your lard ass will.
The better news is that now you
can do something about those unwanted pounds.
Imagine going with the bare midriff look without worrying about
the rollover on the top of your pants.
Imagine not having to wear a sweatshirt tied around your waist
every time you workout. (We
know that’s just to cover your ass, not a fashion statement.)
How is this possible, you ask? With Flash’s Stripper Diet (AS SEEN ON TV!)
Available for the first time in America, the weight loss secrets
of Planet Dallas’ finest will help you lose those unwanted pounds
quickly and easily through three simple steps.
1.
Take Your Supplements: And
I don’t mean vitamins. I’m
talking drugs, preferably coke. What
better way to suppress your appetite and increase your metabolism?
And as an added benefit, it makes living on Planet Dallas a
little more bearable. For
those with more severe weight problems, try the Crystal version of the
Stripper Diet. Longer
appetite suppression and higher metabolic rates for less money.
2.
Lift Weights: Don’t worry, I’m not talking
about the gym. After all,
why put in all that time and effort just to get sweaty.
It’s much easier to just get two 400cc saline implants.
Carrying around that extra weight on your chest all day is
guaranteed to develop more muscle mass and melt pounds.
Getting up in the morning becomes an abs workout.
And if nothing else, larger breasts will at least make your fat
ass look proportional.
3.
Do Cardio: Once
again, forget the gym. Bikes
and treadmills are for amateurs compared to five hours of dancing in
six-inch platforms. Tone
those legs and calves and build up your endurance while earning cold
hard cash. And you even get
an upper body workout pushing all those guys hands away.
Do these three easy steps
actually work? Just listen
to what some of our customers say about the diet.
“The
pounds disappeared almost as fast as the eight-ball of coke.”
Tanya from Addison
“My
ass looks much smaller now that my tits are bigger.”
Melissa from Dallas
If
you don’t believe them, check out the results with your own eyes.
Just go to the Men’s Club to see the Stripper Diet in action.
(Nighttime only. The
daygirls obviously don’t follow all aspects of the diet.)
Or
for even better proof, check out the girls that go off the diet.
You know whom I mean; those poor young girls who try to stop
dancing and stop doing blow. Even
increasing their cigarette intake to about one a minute doesn’t
prevent them from ballooning up to Free Willy proportions.
So don’t be fooled by all those
fad diets out there. They’re
not as effective and can be dangerous to your health.
To lose weight safely and effectively, stick to the Stripper
Diet.
P.S.
The weight loss claims detailed
here are not typical and may not reflect your experience on the Stripper
Diet. Please consult your physician before beginning any weight
loss program.
- Flash
-
flash@usexposed.com
